Wigglez: I don't think there's any dairy in cum now...
"Is that me? Am I the anonymous chinchilla?"
I almost got a pet chinchilla as a kid. It's one of the very few rodents on California's mammalian pet whitelist. (Whereas most states ban certain exotic pets, e.g. "no tigers or chimpanzees", California, true to form, pretty much bans everything and then lists a few allowable species.)
"You can't put old people in a fake ad and use MY foot!"
"Quick, someone knock her out while she still has cucumbers on her eyes!"
Nate: "Jesus is not Kenny Loggins."
"Wait til you see Madonna's singing belly button."
Mayhem: "Well, I suppose we could put a goose in a mouse costume."
"My favorite song about f***ing a centauress."
"Semper Fidelis Tyrranasaurus!" - Number 21
"Josh Billings is not a Spice Girl!" - Me
"There is no penguin mafia." - the Penguin Mafia
"Heh, funny you should ask. The last suture got pulled out because it got caught in my tooth."
"PHONES ARE PEOPLE TOO, GODDAMNIT!"
"Yes, I suppose empanadas have a better affinity for getting up in the morning than lazy cats."