[Forum Game] Mock Execrable Fanfic I

[Bryce]

Concept: MST3K (or just plain mock line-by-line) the bad fanfic posted by the previous user. Find and post bad fanfic for the next person to mock.

Rules:
1. Fanfic should be suitable for this forum in terms of content.
2. It should be from a show that most people here are familiar with. (CDRR is an especially safe bet but other things are okay too.)
3. Don't post anything that's tremendously long; excerpts of larger fanfics are fine. Use your best judgment.

Some places to look for badfic:
http://www.fanfiction.net/cartoon/Ch...escue_Rangers/
http://www.theacorncafe.org/phpbb/viewforum.php?f=3
http://rrdatabase.dyndns.org/written/
(Not implying that all fanfic at these places are bad, of course!)

[Bryce]

I nominate this for the first one: http://www.theacorncafe.org/phpbb/vi...hp?f=3&t=22334

Wescott, Jermey Manniax and Chax Bendict Are own By Carl Edward III
Alex II Own by Me
Sonic the Hedgehog and Freedom Fighters own by DIC, 4Kids, Archie and Sega
Rescue Rangers Own By Disney

Here the Story Right now the Beging

Cut to New York City 2008, RR HQ

Chip: Hay guys a Villian Brake into a Ice Factory

Gadget: Golly What they want there

Dale: A Big Ice Party

Chip Bonk Dale on the head "NO you silly something eles"

Alex II: We better check it out

Chip: You Right Alex II Let go

All: RESCUE RANGERS AWAY

*Cut to the Ice Factory in NY City*

Chip: It quite too Quite

Dale: it could be a trap

Flash: Why you think of that?

THen he Cage came on them As the Villians Came out and Laughting

Fat Cat: HAAHAHHA You Fell into our trap

Chip: Fat Cat, Capone, Nimibul and Jermey Manniax

Wescot: OK Manniax WHAT YOU WANT

Fat Cat: OH Well We want one person allways Foling our Plans Alexander Armington II and As you Rescue Rangers our Servent to take over the world

Alex II: HA I Will Stop you Fat Cat

Fat Cat: Well That what you think Now Nimibul

Nimibul Fire his Freezee Ray at Alex II as he got Frozen Stift

Lawahine: ALEX II!

Chip: WHAT You do to him

Jemery Manniax: Like Fat Cat Say We want him out of our way so We Froze him now he will be in the water hehehee

Fat Cat: As all of you become our Servents

Gadget: We won't Served You!

Fat Cat: Like you have a choice NOW Nimibul

Nimibul Fire a Dark Lquid into the Rescue Rangers as there eyes turn Red then they smile evil too

Rescue Rangers; We will Served you Fat Cat

Fat Cat: HAHHAHAHAHAHHA I WON Alex II IS OUT OF MY WAY, Rescue Rangers is OURS NEW YORK CITY IS OURS TOOO HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

It gets worse after that.

[Light]

Wescott, Jermey Manniax and Chax Bendict Are own By Carl Edward III
Alex II Own by Me
Sonic the Hedgehog and Freedom Fighters own by DIC, 4Kids, Archie and Sega
Rescue Rangers Own By Disney

Alex II own by me? Is Alex II's middle name Mary and last name Sue? I wonder what incredible traits and characteristics this character will have besides destroying the english language and summoning grammar nazis.

Here the Story Right now the Beging

It was long tim Ago in galexy far for awey.

Cut to New York City 2008, RR HQ

That marks around 18 years the show has been cancelled. You'd think any sane person would move on with their lives, write a real novel, make actual money. But first you'd need to learn spell check to do that. Our boy Charles here hasn't gotten very far since 1990.

Chip: Hay guys a Villian Brake into a Ice Factory

All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

Gadget: Golly What they want there

Dale: A Big Ice Party

Chip Bonk Dale on the head "NO you silly something eles"

Alex II: We better check it out

Chip: You Right Alex II Let go

Then Monty scratches his head and asks, "Crikey, who is Alex II, why is he here, and does the author not know what a plot hole is. Crikey!"

All: RESCUE RANGERS AWAY

*Cut to the Ice Factory in NY City*

Chip: It quite too Quite

Dale: it could be a trap

Any reader should be warned that this fanfic is a trap. It'll kill all your brain cells upon reading.

Flash: Why you think of that?

THen he Cage came on them As the Villians Came out and Laughting

The cage is a he? What's the difference between a he cage and a she cage. If you stick a key into a she cage, will she have little cages?

Fat Cat: HAAHAHHA You Fell into our trap

Chip: Fat Cat, Capone, Nimibul and Jermey Manniax

Wescot: OK Manniax WHAT YOU WANT

What Maaniax, whoever the hell that is, wants is for Charles Roberts to go back to school. It's never too late to go back after dropping out of the second grade. Maybe his writing will improve then.

Fat Cat: OH Well We want one person allways Foling our Plans Alexander Armington II and As you Rescue Rangers our Servent to take over the world

I don't know what a cat, mad scientist, and whoever Manniax is could do about taking over the world but they could at least take over Detroit easily if the residents are like the author of this story.

Alex II: HA I Will Stop you Fat Cat

Fat Cat: Well That what you think Now Nimibul

Nimibul Fire his Freezee Ray at Alex II as he got Frozen Stift

Lawahine: ALEX II!

Chip: WHAT You do to him

I bet some readers would guess that he was frozen but then again, what do they know cause they probably have more ADD than the author does.

Jemery Manniax: Like Fat Cat Say We want him out of our way so We Froze him now he will be in the water hehehee

Fat Cat: As all of you become our Servents

Gadget: We won't Served You!

Fat Cat: Like you have a choice NOW Nimibul

Nimibul Fire a Dark Lquid into the Rescue Rangers as there eyes turn Red then they smile evil too

Rescue Rangers; We will Served you Fat Cat

Fat Cat: HAHHAHAHAHAHHA I WON Alex II IS OUT OF MY WAY, Rescue Rangers is OURS NEW YORK CITY IS OURS TOOO HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHHAHAHAHAHHA, but their real plan is to release this horrible fanfic on the internet, thus boosting support in expanding the language of SOPA to include complete internet censorship because after reading this, Congress will think the internet is being run by grammar terrorists. The End or as Charles Roberts would write "THWE ANd."

[Light]

I nominate this uneventful dive into a fantasy that many pro's see happening between Chip and Gadget of Rescue Rangers cartoon show:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4410079/1/Depressed

Now this is a ChipxGadget fan fiction
Now this is a ChipxGadget fan fiction. If you don't like it, don't read. Enjoy.

Chip was sitting in the Rescue Ranger kitchen, feeling blue. He felt that Gadget didn't even know that even he exists. Besides missions, she was oblivious to him. He collapsed his head in his arms, and accidentally hit his head on the table.

"Ow," said Chip as he rubbed his head. Then Monty came in. "Hey Chipper, why the long face?" His sidekick Zipper floated by Monty's side.

"It's nothing Monty," said Chip, feeling more depressed than before. Monty shrugged and left the kitchen while munching on cheese. Zipper flew to Chip and whispered something in his ear.

"No, it's nothing to do about you," Zipper sighed in relief and caught up to Monty. Chip glared and got up.

"I need to solve this on my own," said Chip. "Solve what on your own?" Chip's eyes shrank to dots and turned around to find Gadget. She sat next to him and waited for his answer. Chip gazed into her eyes and blushed greatly. Gadget giggled at his flushed face.

"Gadget, do you…," He stopped in the middle of his sentence. Gadget was confused. "Do I what?" Chip couldn't get the rest out, he was too nervous, too scared.

"Do you hate me?" Gadget was taken back, Chip realized what he said and got up to leave.

"Wait Chip, what do you mean?" Chip shook his head and replied.

"I mean, you haven't been paying any attention to me for the past two weeks, you only listened to me when I give orders on missions." Gadget felt guilt build up inside her, it was true, she hadn't talked to him in days.

"Golly Chip, I don't know what to say, it's true, I haven't been talking to you in days, and I'm sorry." Gadget felt small tears build up. Chip wiped them away with his thumb, and kissed her cheek softly. Gadget immediately blushed a deep cherry red.

"Gadget, do you like me?" Gadget felt her face flush an even deeper red. "You mean as a friend, or boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Chip blushed the same color of red as Gadget. "Either one is fine,"

"I can't seem to choose, because I like you as a boyfriend and a friend," Chip smiled and the two came closer, but the closer they got, the deeper they blushed. Chip wrapped his hands on her waist, Gadget wrapped her hands on his neck, they moved closer and a gap formed between them. For what seemed like eternity, but was it actually 5 minuets. Chip broke the kiss.

"Gadget, listen thanks for keeping me company, I really needed it." There was a moment of silence when Chip gazed at Gadget, she caught on quickly and blushed bright red. She smiled as Chip took her hand gently and they nuzzled their noses, and they didn't want to stop.

END

Enjoy

See Ya

[Bryce]

In the basement of a clandestine lab, hidden from the scrutiny of any Animal
Care and Use Committee, the erstwhile Rescue Rangers are exposed to
bad fanfic in the name of Mad Science...

Now this is a ChipxGadget fan fiction

Dale: What's a Chipekskajit?

Monty: An Indian tribe.

Now this is a ChipxGadget fan fiction.

Chip: Great, not only is it bad fanfic, the record's broken.

If you don't like it, don't read. Enjoy.

Dale: Like we have a choice!

Chip was sitting in the Rescue Ranger kitchen, feeling blue.

Dale: Not feeling brown?

Chip: That wasn't funny when the Lion King used it either, Dale.

He felt that Gadget didn't even know that even he exists.
Besides missions, she was oblivious to him.

Gadget: That's ridiculous! I'm not oblivious to anything.

He collapsed his head in his arms,

Monty: Mmm. Never seen a chipmunk with a collapsible 'ead.

Chip: What about Dale?

and accidentally hit his head on the table.

"Ow," said Chip as he rubbed his head. Then Monty came in. "Hey Chipper, why the long face?" His sidekick Zipper floated by Monty's side.

Gadget: When did he get an anti-gravity device?

"It's nothing Monty," said Chip, feeling more depressed than before. Monty shrugged and left the kitchen while munching on cheese.

Monty: Guys... be 'onest... am I lettin' myself be defined by me fondness for cheese?

Chip: Maybe just a little.

Zipper flew to Chip and whispered something in his ear.

Dale: Oh, so this is actually a Chip X Zipper fic...

Chip: Hey, Monty, wanna see a demonstration of Dale's collapsible head?

"No, it's nothing to do about you," Zipper sighed in relief and caught up to Monty.

Chip: Zipper must have thought I was still mad at him for putting the empty jam jar back in the refrigerator.

Gadget: ... twice.

Chip glared and got up.

"I need to solve this on my own," said Chip. "Solve what on your own?"

Dale: Chip's talking to himself again.

Chip's eyes shrank to dots and turned around to find Gadget.

Gadget: That makes sense. I am a board-certified ophthalmologist.

Chip: What, what?

Gadget: I have a life outside of the Rangers, you know.

She sat next to him and waited for his answer.

Dale: To what question?

Gadget: "So, Chip, how long have your pupils been like that?," I assume.

Chip gazed into her eyes and blushed greatly.

Gadget giggled at his flushed face.

Gadget: I guess I found his social distress amusing for some reason.

"Gadget, do you…," He stopped in the middle of his sentence.

Gadget: Well, yes, Chip, I do. I mean, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, and --

Gadget was confused. "Do I what?" Chip couldn't get the rest out, he was too nervous, too scared.

Dale: Chip can't be blamed for his repressive and puritanical upbringing.

Chip bonks Dale on the head.
Chip: I also endorse corporal punishment. Heartily.

"Do you hate me?" Gadget was taken back,

Gadget: Gee. Hate's such a strong word.

Chip realized what he said and got up to leave.

Chip: Calmly and without back-peddling at all.

"Wait Chip, what do you mean?" Chip shook his head and replied.

"I mean, you haven't been paying any attention to me for the past two weeks, you only listened to me when I give orders on missions." Gadget felt guilt build up inside her,

Gadget: This feeling... I've never experienced it before... is this what you call "guilt"?

Monty: If you didn't feel it when you tried to blow up poor ol' Zipper with dynamite --

Gadget: Er. No, I think it's just heartburn from this darn curry. Nevermind.

it was true, she hadn't talked to him in days.

Gadget: I was on vacation!

"Golly Chip, I don't know what to say, it's true, I haven't been talking to you in days, and I'm sorry." Gadget felt small tears build up.
Chip wiped them away with his thumb,

Dale: *gouge* I saw you looking at that roguishly handsome fellow, Dale! No more!

and kissed her cheek softly. Gadget immediately blushed a deep cherry red.

Monty: Gadget 'as a life threatenin' allergic reaction to Chipmunk saliva.

"Gadget, do you like me?" Gadget felt her face flush an even deeper red. "You mean as a friend,

Gadget: Of course!

or boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Gadget: Hrm. It would be hard to for him to be both. I mean certainly it would
be difficult biologically for most people, I suppose with the right surgery
he - or she - could be each in sequence, or maybe it's meant less literally,
and he'd be mostly my boyfriend, but we'd also go shopping and in the
stereotypical manner, and I'd complain about my boyfriend - that is, him in
his capacity as my boyfriend, to him in her capacity as my girlfriend, and --

Monty: Give it up.

Chip blushed the same color of red as Gadget.

Monty: The pox!

"Either one is fine,"

"I can't seem to choose, because I like you as a boyfriend and a friend," Chip smiled and the two came closer, but the closer they got, the deeper they blushed.

Gadget: Did the saturation of the color follow an inverse-square law, or was it just linear?

Monty: 'Ow much can you blush, anyway?

Chip wrapped his hands on her waist,

Gadget wrapped her hands on his neck, they moved closer and a gap formed between them.

Gadget: Golly, this must represent a whole new principle of physics - we got closer and then a gap formed! Isn't this exciting, Chip?

Chip: Gee. Physics. I'm so lucky.

For what seemed like eternity, but was it actually 5 minuets.

Dale: They were dancing too?

Chip broke the kiss.

Gadget: What kiss? There was a gap!

"Gadget, listen thanks for keeping me company, I really needed it." There was a moment of silence when Chip gazed at Gadget,

...

she caught on quickly

Monty: There's a first.

Gadget: Eh?

Monty: Right.

and blushed bright red.

Chip: What are we, cuttlefish?

Monty: Whole lot of blushing going on in this one...

She smiled as Chip took her hand gently and they nuzzled their noses, and they didn't want to stop.

Dale: Bow-chika-wow-wow.

END

Enjoy

See Ya

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.

Will post the next story in the chain shortly.

[Bryce]

Here you go.

Mystery of the Canned Cat Food

By W0nderboy

Chapter 1
Based on the report from the files of Monterey Jack

For the many years I've been with the Rescue Rangers, I've seen many things in my time, but when you seen a mere chipmunk solve a unsolvable crime, then you can claim you've seen everything. It started one hot day in July. Dale was at a comic book festival. And Gadget and Zipper were visit her relitives. There were no new cases becuase of the heat, so Chip settle down with a book. His was a book about deduction. Chip was wild about stuff like that, trying to imatated his hero. I preferred my own, "Cheeses of the World." I was about to get to chedders when I cry outside interupted both of us. Imagine our surprise to see Max outside of our house. He was shaking, more than usual. Chip saw it too. "I...I need your help."
"Get out of here you crooked cat", I said, "Tell Fat Cat we're not interested.
"But he's dead."

Chapter 2
Strange Scratches

Fat Cat's body was found in his headquarters where they left it. He was leaning over in a chair. His face was twisted into a face of horror. The knife which was the killer, was plunged in his stomach. There was alot of blood all over the place. Chip turned Max. When did you find him like this?"
"Around six."
"Where were you last night."
"Sleeping off a stomachache."
"What was it from?"
"A jar of peanut butter that was recently tossed out."
"Did you hear anything at all?"
"I heared him groaning, but I thought it was just stress from being beaten once again by the Rescue Rangers."
"Where are your companions?"
"Probably out in a stakeout."
"For what purpose?"
"Take a guess."
"Have you called the police?"
"Yes, they thought I was a prank caller."
"Thank you. I shall now examine the room."
Max left the room still shaken by the event. I admired Chip for his questions to Max. I'm sure that it would be done different by the famous detetive, but now that was over, it was time to gather evidence. "Look at this Monterey."
I went over and to my surprise, I saw scratched blood spelling this:

Verraten

"There is some strangeness to this Monterey. I must find out more to this case."

[ModernTimes]

Mystery of the Canned Cat Food

I Read that as Mystery of the Canned Cat Wood. That would’ve been far more interesting. As it stands, I hope botulism kills them all.

By W0nderboy

This is where any0ne l00king f0r a g00d st0ry w0uld’ve m0ved 0n.

Chapter 1
Based on the report from the files of Monterey Jack

Diary entries clearly count as reports.

For the many years I've been with the Rescue Rangers, I've seen many things in my time, but when you seen a mere chipmunk solve a unsolvable crime, then you can claim you've seen everything.

For many years I’ve seen bad writing and terrible grammar in my time, but when you see the mere horrors posted on fanfiction.net, then you can pretend you’ve seen everything.

It started one hot day in July. Dale was at a comic book festival. And Gadget and Zipper were visit her relitives. There were no new cases becuase of the heat, so Chip settle down with a book. His was a book about deduction. Chip was wild about stuff like that, trying to imatated his hero. I preferred my own, "Cheeses of the World." I was about to get to chedders when I cry outside interupted both of us. Imagine our surprise to see Max outside of our house. He was shaking, more than usual. Chip saw it too. "I...I need your help."

W0nderboy’s descriptive writing and stunning prose place him among the all-time greats. His unique spelling and complex sentence structure rewrite the rules as only a master wordsmith can.

"Get out of here you crooked cat", I said, "Tell Fat Cat we're not interested.
"But he's dead."

Mystery wood strikes cat!

Chapter 2
Strange Scratches

Old school: paying by word. New school: paying by chapter.

Fat Cat's body was found in his headquarters where they left it. He was leaning over in a chair. His face was twisted into a face of horror. The knife which was the killer, was plunged in his stomach. There was alot of blood all over the place.

The knife was the killer. The knife was the killer. The knife was the killer!

Chip turned Max. When did you find him like this?"
"Around six."
"Where were you last night."
"Sleeping off a stomachache."
"What was it from?"
"A jar of peanut butter that was recently tossed out."

Eating from the garbage is a legitimate character flaw which helps create the dynamic—yet quirky—personality all excellent authors strive for.

"Did you hear anything at all?"
"I heared him groaning, but I thought it was just stress from being beaten once again by the Rescue Rangers."
"Where are your companions?"
"Probably out in a stakeout."
"For what purpose?"
"Take a guess."
"Have you called the police?"
"Yes, they thought I was a prank caller."
"Thank you. I shall now examine the room."

I shall now vomit.

Max left the room still shaken by the event. I admired Chip for his questions to Max. I'm sure that it would be done different by the famous detetive, but now that was over, it was time to gather evidence. "Look at this Monterey."
I went over and to my surprise, I saw scratched blood spelling this:

Verraten

"There is some strangeness to this Monterey. I must find out more to this case."

The mystery wood is out there somewhere, Chip or whoever it is that is speaking. It’s out there and I must find it. I must see it. I must feel it.

[ModernTimes]

http://www.commuterbarnacle.com/gonterman/RANGERS.TXT

Gadget was crying.

"Gadget whats wrong?" Jonathan asked and rubed her shoulder. She
responed and held him in a tight imbrace. "He's was right it
all makes sence... I.. I am different.. Oh daddy why?..
Why did you have to die.. Why weren't you there to tell me.."

Jonathan holds her for a long time. His shoulder feels water logged.
Gadget sniffs and sits down. "I'm sorry for that out burst there
I'm usally not that emotional."

Mr Age's looks at Gadget. "There is only one way to know for sure
Gadget, if the formula is in your blood." He walks up to her.

Gadget streachs out her arm. A sample of her blood is taken.

A solution was added to the sample in a vial.

"Now then, If the NIMH formula is in your blood, Ms. Hackwrench,
this blood sample will turn blue."

He capped the vial.

He shook.

The blood turned blue.

Gadget looked at it in awe.

"Gadget, you're one of *us*. This is great."

"Then its all true... I'm smart because of some exparment.."

"Not totally Gadget the formula only enhances what you all ready
are. You where born an inventor and that is what you are, even if
NIMH did give you a little help." JB says trying to dry her tears.

"Child, in you and in Jonathan our legacy continues to the next
generation. I am honored as you should be to have you be among us.
Feel free to visit us over at Thorn Valley sometime. There is much
we can teach you, Gadget."

After a while of quiet between the two, Jonathan desides to cheer
up Gadget. He pulls a red marble out of a pocket and makes it
disappear and reappear several times over as Gadget watches
intently.

"Golly, You're a magician too?"

"Why, yes, Gadget," Ages said between sips of coffee. "JB here was
raised by his uncle Copper, a very famous illusionist in our parts.
He taught Jonathan everything he knows."

Finding an empty bucket, Jonathan turned one marble into three and
let them fall into it. He then made three more appear and let those
fall in too. He did that over and over a few times.

"He can keep doing that until this oak's filled back up," Ages
chuckled.

"There's gotta be something under that sleeve," Gadget says.

"Oh really," Jonathan smirked as he held up that arm and pulled the
sleeve up. There wasn't even an arm there; only his gloved hand
floating in mid-air, giving a giggling Gadget the "I got your nose"
routine.

"Here, JB." Ages reached into his bags. "I brought your box." He
brought out that looked like a cigar box covered in dark blue velvet
decorated with stars. "This'll keep you two occupied for hours."

Gadget took a look inside. Nothing.

But Jonathan let a spark from his fingertips fall into the box,
catching it on fire. He quickly closed the box and shook it.

CHINKA-CHINKA-CHINKA!!

The box is now fulled with a mouse-size kiddie magic set. His toys,
he called it once.

"Wow!"

Ages chuckled as he stepped outside for some fresh air, wondering how
the others are doing

[CD]

Wescott, Jermey Manniax and Chax Bendict Are own By Carl Edward III
Alex II Own by Me

CD: Shiiih-jiiiit. You mean we're getting two generous servings of Mary Sue godawful fanfiction in one? I don't think I can do this.

Sonic the Hedgehog and Freedom Fighters own by DIC, 4Kids, Archie and Sega
Rescue Rangers Own By Disney

CD: Oh right. You weren't content to drag the Rescue Rangers' name through the muck. You had to make Sonic's legacy just a little bit worse through it to.
Chip: At least he gives proper credit.
Dale: Wait, is this "-the Animated Series" or the "Adventures of-"? Because DIC made both ones.
CD: And trust me, it wasn't the only video game animated adaption that DIC blew.

Here the Story Right now the Beging

CD: In AD 20** story was beging.
Dale: What happen?
Chip: Somebody set us up the bomb. This fanfic that is.

Cut to New York City 2008, RR HQ

Chip: Oh wow. A coherent sentence!
CD: Ah, take it away!
Dale: At that length, I could make a coherent sentence to.

Chip: Hay guys

Chip [Tommy Wiseau]: Oh hai Dale. How is your sex life?
Dale: Should I come forward and admit I'm having an affair with Gadget now, or do you want to work in-
Chip [strangling Dale]: Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout"anaffairwithGadget"?I'llkillyouI'llkillyouI'llkillyou!

a Villian Brake into a Ice Factory

Chip: Well I'm sure glad he wasn't speeding into an ice factory.
Dale: Is that the factory where mediocre white rappers are made? Because that villain had better not mess with my Vanilla Ice.
CD: Maybe it's Schwartzenegger reprising his Mr. Freeze role! I have to get out my pun card, where are they!?

Gadget: Golly What they want there

Dale: They want The Ice.
CD [reading from a card in Schwartzenegger-speak]: They're looking to chill.

Dale: A Big Ice Party

Dale: Mine was better.
CD [Schwartzenegger]: Cool party!

Chip Bonk Dale on the head "NO you silly something eles"

Chip: But what kind of eles. What kind indeed...

Alex II: We better check it out

Chip: You Right Alex II Let go

Chip: I am telling Alex to let go? Let of what, the past? And am I saying he is right as in not left?
Dale: You know, when you do figure out the words this dialogue isn't exactly rivetting.

All: RESCUE RANGERS AWAY

*Cut to the Ice Factory in NY City*

CD: Is someone going to bust out some funky lyrics? Because I have a feeling even rap music is more interesting than to keep reading.
Dale: Go ninja, go ninja go. Go ninja, go ninja go!
Chip: Let's green eggs and ham it!
Monty: There is something you should know so I'm gonna tell you so. Don't sweat it, forget it, enjoy the show! Party time, party time!
CD: On second thought, go back to the fanfic!

Chip: It quite too Quite

Chip: If you're going to use such a clichéd line, at least spell it right!
Dale: Quiet, my dear chap.

Dale: it could be a trap

Chip: If any of you make an Admiral Akhbar joke, you're on your own.

Flash: Why you think of that?

CD: Flash who?
Chip: Gordon?
Dale: The Flash?
Monty: Zipper?

THen he Cage came on

Shao Khan: Danny Cage.
Dale: Johny less-talented brother.
CD: At this point I'd gladly be punched in the nuts if it will numb the pain of this fic.

them As the Villians Came out and Laughting

CD: They must be using the same pun card as me. What did they say? [holds out a few cards to the others]
Chip: [Schwartzenegger] Chill out, dickwad.
Dale: [Schwartzenegger] What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!
Monty: [Schwartzenegger] Stay cool, bird boy.

Fat Cat: HAAHAHHA You Fell into our trap

Chip: [Fat Cat] I can't believe it. I mean, a hanging cage! That's like the oldest trap in the book. And you just walked right in saying how this is probably a trap? What the hell is wrong with you rodents?

Chip: Fat Cat, Capone, Nimibul and Jermey Manniax

Chip: I am just going to say all your names so the readers know you are all here.
Dale: Why would 'reader' be plural?

Wescot: OK Manniax WHAT YOU WANT

Dale [Manniax]: All your base are belong to us.
CD: No, no, Dale. That joke's old.
Chip: Who in his right mind would go through life with the surname Manniax and name their children that?

Fat Cat: OH Well We want one person allways Foling our Plans Alexander Armington II and As you Rescue Rangers our Servent to take over the world

CD: Oh yeah, because Alex is such a badass, you forget it was the Rescue Rangers who twarted you every time. But no, you're putting them on clean-up duty. Alex is the real threat.
Dale: [Wescot] Hey wait a moment Manniax! Isn't it me who's always foiling you? Why the hell do you care about this scrawny basement dweller all of a sudden? Everyone knows I made this team great, not him!

Alex II: HA I Will Stop you Fat Cat

Chip: [Alex] As soon as I figure out how to get through these wide bars I am going to stop you!

Fat Cat: Well That what you think Now Nimibul

CD: Who is Nimibul? Is that another villain invented by hack fanfic writers? And why is Fat Cat taunting Nimibul by saying that's what he thinks?

Nimibul Fire his Freezee Ray at Alex II as he got Frozen Stift

Chip: So Nimibul fires a ray that creates Israeli soft drinks and it turns Alex into a frozen Dutch marker pen?
Dale: Yikes, Nimibul might want to reverse the polarity on the flux capacitor. The results are not as advertized.

Lawahine: ALEX II!

Chip: Okay, why would you call out a name and include "the Second" in case of distress?
CD: WILMAAAAAA PEBLE/SLAGHOOPLE-FLINTSTONE!
Monty: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY McCORMICK!
Dale: DAVIIIIIID "SOOOLLIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE" EMMERICH!
Tammy: Wait, Snake and Otakon...they are...? But Meryl-! Oh my, I think I have to go now.

Chip: WHAT You do to him

Dale [Nimibul]: Well I tried turning him into a soft drink, but he came out as a marker pen. It's not the first time this happened.

Jemery Manniax: Like Fat Cat Say We want him out of our way so We Froze him now he will be in the water hehehee

CD [Schwartzenegger]: We are putting him on ice!
Gadget: But if you put a frozen person in water, that does not guarantee he stays frozen! The water needs to be below 0 degrees celsius to maintain the frozen state. And if you put him in the water that means the water is still liquid and therefore above 0 degrees! Argh, this plan is stupid!
CD: That's why they put him ON ice.

Fat Cat: As all of you become our Servents

Chip: So Fat Cat is going to make us into his peasants who are bound to his land? Or we become his lackeys tasked with cleaning the air ducts?
CD: So what's to stop you from crossing your fingers behind your back, pretend to be his servants, then betray him the moment he turns his back?

Gadget: We won't Served You!

Dale: You are going to get served.
CD: And back to the rap motif it is.

Fat Cat: Like you have a choice NOW Nimibul

Chip [Nimibul]: Do I go with chocolate or strawberry?
Dale: How about you pick Vanilla?

Nimibul Fire a Dark Lquid into the Rescue Rangers as there eyes turn Red then they smile evil too

Dale: Oh snap. A liquid that turn you to evil!
Monty [Twin-clone of Hitler]: Of course! Don't you know anything about science!?
CD: Ah yes, bloodshot eyes = evil. The Luddites knew this when they first saw what colour photography does to corrupt those its captures on its soul imprinting film roll.

Rescue Rangers; We will Served you Fat Cat

CD [the Rangers]: You got F'ed in the A!

Fat Cat: HAHHAHAHAHAHHA I WON Alex II IS OUT OF MY WAY, Rescue Rangers is OURS NEW YORK CITY IS OURS TOOO HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

CD: [diabolical extensions of sylables]
Chip: [diabolical lower casing of names]
Dale: [diabolical punctuation]

Yeah, I know. I'm late to the party. But damn it, this needed a new breathing orifice.

[Bryce]

Gadget was crying.

"Gadget whats wrong?" Jonathan asked and rubed her shoulder.

Jonathan: Is your old Roller Derby injury acting up again?

She responed and held him in a tight imbrace.

"Imbrace" is an archaic legal term. Any English word that can be pronounced is an actual English word, at least in some field and at some point in history.

"He's was right it all makes sence...

Referring, of course, to the river Sence, in England...

I.. I am different..

Gadget: I'm a pink bipedal mouse with blue eyes and no visible fur!

Oh daddy why?..
Why did you have to die.. Why weren't you there to tell me.."

Geegaw: Gadget... the 1970s were an... interesting time, when a lot of people were... experimenting... and well, your mother is Farrah Fawcett.

Jonathan holds her for a long time. His shoulder feels water logged.

Gadget sniffs and sits down. "I'm sorry for that out burst there I'm usally not that emotional."

Gadget: Normally, I'm a cold, distant and emotionless robot who isn't in any way hung up on my father's death, right?

Mr Age's looks at Gadget.

Mr. Age is looks at Gadget? Like, this guy is the anthropomorphic personification of the Male Gaze on Gadget? Creepy.

"There is only one way to know for sure
Gadget, if the formula is in your blood." He walks up to her.

Mr. Age: I vant to sahck yor blood!

Gadget streachs out her arm. A sample of her blood is taken.

A solution was added to the sample in a vial.

"Now then, If the NIMH formula is in your blood, Ms. Hackwrench,
this blood sample will turn blue."

According the the Journal of Improbable Clinical Chemistry, this is very implausible for reasons that are not at all funny to explain.

He capped the vial.

He shook.

The blood turned blue.

Mr. Ages: Gadget... this proves it... you are the missing princess Anastasia!

Gadget looked at it in awe.

"Gadget, you're one of *us*. This is great."

Gadget: So I'm the anthropomorphic personification of something too?

"Then its all true... I'm smart because of some exparment.."

Gadget: I'm smart, exsept wear speling is conserned. Like all engineers.

"Not totally Gadget the formula only enhances what you all ready
are.

Mr. Ages: Without the formula, you'd only be an A cup.

You where born an inventor and that is what you are, even if
NIMH did give you a little help."

Jonathan: It's like getting a so-so SAT score, but getting into Harvard anyway
because your uncle is a professor. Totally not cheating.

JB says trying to dry her tears.

"Child, in you and in Jonathan our legacy continues to the next
generation.

Mr. Ages: So... when am I going to be a grandfather? I'm not getting any younger.

I am honored as you should be to have you be among us.

So... when arrogance, polite formality, and bad grammar collide, that
sentence happens.

Feel free to visit us over at Thorn Valley sometime. There is much
we can teach you, Gadget."

Mr. Ages: We can teach you the ways of the Dark Side of the Force... the path
to true power. Muahahaha!

After a while of quiet between the two, Jonathan desides to cheer
up Gadget.

The music swells... O Fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis...
Gadget: DO NOT SAY THOSE WORDS!

He pulls a red marble out of a pocket and makes it
disappear and reappear several times over as Gadget watches
intently.

Gadget: Mmm. Maybe he can find a quarter in my ear, too.

"Golly, You're a magician too?"

Mr. Ages: Hey, that's nothing, I can make that whole purple jumpsuit disappear! Heh-heh-heh.

Jonathan: Hey!

Mr. Ages: What, we already established that I'm the anthropomorphic
personification of Looks At Gadget.

Jonathan: Fair enough.

"Why, yes, Gadget," Ages said between sips of coffee. "JB here was
raised by his uncle Copper, a very famous illusionist in our parts.
He taught Jonathan everything he knows."

Finding an empty bucket, Jonathan turned one marble into three

Gadget: You've broken the law of conservation of mass! To the gallows with this sorcerer!

and
let them fall into it. He then made three more appear and let those
fall in too. He did that over and over a few times.

"He can keep doing that until this oak's filled back up," Ages
chuckled.

"There's gotta be something under that sleeve," Gadget says.

"Oh really," Jonathan smirked as he held up that arm and pulled the
sleeve up. There wasn't even an arm there; only his gloved hand
floating in mid-air,

giving a giggling Gadget the "I got your nose"
routine.

Because Gadget is always amused by cliche routines that are rarely even amusing to three-year-olds.

"Here, JB." Ages reached into his bags. "I brought your box." He
brought out that looked like a cigar box covered in dark blue velvet
decorated with stars. "This'll keep you two occupied for hours."

Mr. Ages: I'll let you have it... if I can watch. Heh-heh-heh.

Gadget took a look inside. Nothing.

But Jonathan let a spark from his fingertips fall into the box,
catching it on fire.

Mr. Ages: See, I told you we could teach you about the Dark Side. Join us,
and we'll teach you how to choke people with your mind, and give you a
lightsaber!

He quickly closed the box and shook it.

CHINKA-CHINKA-CHINKA!!

The box is now fulled with a mouse-size kiddie magic set. His toys,
he called it once.

Hmm. It catches on fire as part of its normal operation and it's for kids.
Must be from the 1950s, the years of the Great Child Surplus.

"Wow!"

Ages chuckled as he stepped outside for some fresh air,

Those burning white phosphorus fumes were getting to his tired old lungs.

wondering how
the others are doing

(Okay, so... that's that one.)

A promising story in which Dale becomes a woman, and the others must find a cure. On the long side, but comparatively coherent. I suggest picking out an excerpt. (Edit: Warning, while looking for excerpts, I found that the story gets somewhat inappropriate for this forum after the beginning. The first five chapters or so are "safe.")

[Bryce]

From http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7263943/3/Ms_Dale

Warning: I suspect this story gets somewhat inappropriate for the forum after the first five chapters or so, but I haven't read the whole thing. Again, use your best judgment in selecting excerpts.

"Crikey, Dale," Monterrey gasped. "Don't remember anything last night?"

Dale stopped eating, and started to think. There wasn't any headache or nausea this time there was no need to stop. "I remember..." Dale started. "remember Abe, The Warehouse, Fat Cat, The Cage..."

"Uh, what did happen up there," Gadget asked, taking a slice for herself.

"Oh, well," Dale said, trying recall. "It's still kinda a fuzzy, so I'll need a minute. Chip and Monty told me everything else but you're the only one who knows what happened."

"It's okay, Dale," Gadget smiled. "I'm just curious."

"Okay," Dale started. "Well, it was just after I had opened the cages. Nimnul got upset and threw me in the cage. I spent the first few minutes trying to calm down the mice in there. When I told them I was with the Rescue Rangers, I met Abe's Parents. Then I called Zipper to get Monterrey and waited for a few. Th-that's pretty much it."

"Anything else," Dale, Gadget asked, gently. Dale paused, for a bit before answering.

"No- wait. Yes," Dale started slowly. "It was before Chip and Monterrey got up there. Nimnul pointed this weird remote at the cage and his machine grabbed me. It lifted me up and took me out the cage. And then... And then..."

Dale suddenly paused, turning pale, before putting the utensils down and pushing away from the table to get up.

"E- excuse me," Dale said, weakly. "I- I s-suddenly need to go to the b-b-bathroom."

The Rangers just sat there while the distraught chipmunk walked over to the bathroom, and shut the door. Gadget got up, herself and walked over to the closed bathroom door. She knew Dale was in for a shock and she'd be the only one who'd be able to help. She was proven right when Dale finally looked in the mirror. The face looking back was obviously Dale, but with big green feminine eyes, a smaller red nose and closer set, and smaller, buckteeth. Suddenly Dale patted the chest area, the hips and rear, and finally between the legs, each area served to confirm the idea, more so than the last. Then the realization finally hit, Dale jumped back screaming, loosing balance in the processes. The next thing Dale knew, Gadget was there to catch the chipmunk. Crying, scared and confused, Dale looked up at Gadget, and continued to sob, and only managed out a single sentence.

"I-I'm a girl!"

--

Dale sat there, on the bathroom floor, clinging to Gadget for dear life. It was real, the pain, the fear, the cold, empty darkness, she fell into- it was all real. And there she was, on the floor in Gadget's arms, crying her eyes out. Through her sobbing, Dale could feel the warm gentle sensation of a hand stroking her back. A soft voice whispered in her ear.

"Hush. Shh", it cooed. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Dale looked up at Gadget, and shook her head.

"No. No," she protested, her voice still quivering. "It all happened. It was real- all of it. I- I was so scared, Gadget I felt like I was gonna... Gonna... D-d-duh..." She suddenly resumed sobbing into Gadget's arms and chest. Gadget finally saw how much this had shaken her. She'd act the same If the same happened to her.

Dale started to accept her new walk in life- helping Gadget with the laundry, and learning to cook without breaking dishes (that one took a while to get down), getting more and more routine with her morning and night rituals of hair care, even experimenting with new hairstyles. Everyone, especially Chip, noticed even as a girl, Dale's smile looked just like when she was a male, possibly even better. It was a few weeks after that when Dale started cooking dinner every Friday. She never knew how much fun cooking could be once she got the hang of it. It almost made her feel like one of those mad scientists in her scary movies, or comic books.

Highlights include female!Dale going into heat. Yeah.

[Ducky]

Not contributing, but this thread is highly amusing. Thank you, Bryce.

[CD]

I actually like this story for some of its more sensitive moments. But seeing as how someone will need to cook this turkey...

"Crikey, Dale," Monterrey gasped. "Don't remember anything last night?"

Dale: Only several bottles of scotch, brandy, and a hunk of Edammer. But what are we doing in your hammock?

Dale stopped eating, and started to think. There wasn't any headache or nausea this time there was no need to stop. "I remember..." Dale started. "remember Abe, The Warehouse, Fat Cat, The Cage..."

Dale: I remember a Freezee ray and Alex becoming a marker pen.
Chip: But who is Abe, and what has he got to do with it?

"Uh, what did happen up there," Gadget asked, taking a slice for herself.

"Oh, well," Dale said, trying recall. "It's still kinda a fuzzy, so I'll need a minute. Chip and Monty told me everything else but you're the only one who knows what happened."

Gadget: I was asking you.
Dale: No you.
Gadget: No u

"It's okay, Dale," Gadget smiled. "I'm just curious."

CD: That's what she said.
Gadget: Golly yes, I am.

"Okay," Dale started. "Well, it was just after I had opened the cages. Nimnul got upset and threw me in the cage. I spent the first few minutes trying to calm down the mice in there. When I told them I was with the Rescue Rangers, I met Abe's Parents. Then I called Zipper to get Monterrey and waited for a few. Th-that's pretty much it."

Chip [cynical]: A-hah, sure. And...?

"Anything else," Dale, Gadget asked, gently. Dale paused, for a bit before answering.

Dale: Well, you know how I both feel very attracted to you and often do completely inappropriate things at the worst time?
Gadget: Okay, now I'm really curious.
[Dale whispers his answer into Gadget's ear, whose eyes widen and she slaps Dale across the face.]
Dale: Ow, I was only riffing this story!
Gadget: Sure you did, buster.

"No- wait. Yes," Dale started slowly. "It was before Chip and Monterrey got up there. Nimnul pointed this weird remote at the cage and his machine grabbed me. It lifted me up and took me out the cage. And then... And then..."

Dale suddenly paused, turning pale, before putting the utensils down and pushing away from the table to get up.

Chip: Damnit Monty! You know Dale's stomach does not agree with kidney beans. You're on bathroom cleaning duty tonight.

"E- excuse me," Dale said, weakly. "I- I s-suddenly need to go to the b-b-bathroom."

The Rangers just sat there while the distraught chipmunk walked over to the bathroom, and shut the door. Gadget got up, herself and walked over to the closed bathroom door. She knew Dale was in for a shock and she'd be the only one who'd be able to help. She was proven right when Dale finally looked in the mirror.

CD: In the mirror world, the Red Badger was just towelling off. Boy was his singing voice a terror in the eardrums.

The face looking back was obviously Dale, but with big green feminine eyes, a smaller red nose and closer set, and smaller, buckteeth. Suddenly Dale patted the chest area, the hips and rear, and finally between the legs, each area served to confirm the idea, more so than the last.

Chip: I really was playing a mean prank saying that estrogen pills would help Dale buff up.

Then the realization finally hit, Dale jumped back screaming, loosing balance in the processes. The next thing Dale knew, Gadget was there to catch the chipmunk. Crying, scared and confused, Dale looked up at Gadget, and continued to sob, and only managed out a single sentence.

"I-I'm a girl!"

Chip: Dale's a boy?
Dale: Hey, don't call me a boy!

--

Dale sat there, on the bathroom floor, clinging to Gadget for dear life. It was real, the pain, the fear, the cold, empty darkness, she fell into- it was all real. And there she was, on the floor in Gadget's arms, crying her eyes out. Through her sobbing, Dale could feel the warm gentle sensation of a hand stroking her back.

Chip: Bieber Fever's symptons are a hell to go through.

A soft voice whispered in her ear.

Gadget: I look at your picture at night as I feel my entire body.
Dale: Wha-? But- that's gross!
Gadget: Payback's a b****, isn't it?
CD: Boy, she really is frightening when angered...

"Hush. Shh", it cooed. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Gadget: We all miss Micheal. His music lives on.

Dale looked up at Gadget, and shook her head.

Dale: The King of Pop isn't really dead! He's alive and he's out there, I know it! He couldn't have really OD'ed so shortly before his last tour.

"No. No," she protested, her voice still quivering. "It all happened. It was real- all of it. I- I was so scared, Gadget I felt like I was gonna... Gonna... D-d-duh..." She suddenly resumed sobbing into Gadget's arms and chest. Gadget finally saw how much this had shaken her. She'd act the same If the same happened to her.

CD: Losing one's vocabulary and intellect to the ravages of blondeness. It was a fate she dreaded would happen to her someday.
Gadget: Hey that's just demeaning! I mean yeah, I do think about it... fear the implications of my hair colour on my technical ability and intelligence...but you have no right to bring this up in my presence!

Dale started to accept her new walk in life- helping Gadget with the laundry, and learning to cook without breaking dishes

CD: Staying in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant really does have the benefit of not having to think about matters and carry the burden of having to make difficult decisions.
Chip: You know, seeing how much trouble Dale has with that now, maybe a gender swap wouldn't be such a bad idea...
Dale: Squick! You made me play housewife plenty of times already as a kid!

(that one took a while to get down), getting more and more routine with her morning and night rituals of hair care, even experimenting with new hairstyles.

CD: Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting lingery.

Everyone, especially Chip, noticed even as a girl, Dale's smile looked just like when she was a male, possibly even better. It was a few weeks after that when Dale started cooking dinner every Friday. She never knew how much fun cooking could be once she got the hang of it.

Monty: I object to this female chauvinism that insinuates only ladies can enjoy cooking!

It almost made her feel like one of those mad scientists in her scary movies, or comic books.

CD: Which is good because we need more female versions of those. Rubber gloves, leather suits and all kinds of wicked inventions and potion? Get me some!

Good day and I was expecting a rather fangirl type of Dale, but then realized how pathetic men who obsess over cartoons and comics sound, and how there's a reason they never atract a girlfriend.

[CD]

These are some of the highlights from "The Dark Saviour Saga".

Now, my dear, we can begin the first of my experiments," Leviathan spoke.

"I feel so priveleged..." Gadget began to remark sarcastically.

"At least you'll live--be thankful for that," Leviathan retorted quickly. The second Gadget heard that, her spirit sank deeper than ever before. She knew something was going to happen to her, and it was going to hurt. "Are you ready?" All the captive could do was nod her head. A moment after she did, she heard something behind her.

"What the..." Gadget turned around. She was met with a slap to the face that sent her flying clear across the room. The female mouse looked up to see three metallic mice heading straight for her.

"Robots after my own design. I had some...help...building them, but they're all mine now," Leviathan stated. Gadget wasn't paying attention to him. She was too busy absorbing the blows of the robots. After taking about fifteen of them, Don moved toward Leviathan.

"Leviathan, you've got to stop them! They'll kill her!" He reached for the control panel. A roundhouse kick from the grey mouse convinced him otherwise.

"As you wish, Don," Leviathan sighed. He pulled a lever on the control panel, and almost immediately, the robots shut down. Gadget--who had been held by one robot and punched by the other two--slumped to the floor, beaten and weak. "Take her to her cell. We begin the next experiment in one hour." Leviathan then walked out of the room. Don ran down to Gadget, lifted her up, and examined her. She was barely conscious, bruised all over, and her nose was bleeding. Gently Don put Gadget's arm over his shoulder and carried her back to her cell.

"Forgive me, Miss Gadget," Don pleaded as he laid Gadget down in her cell. He cleaned her face of the blood, then stopped her nose from bleeding any more. "Please forgive me..." Don turned to leave, looked over his shoulder, then left, closing and locking the door behind him.

'I...forgive you...Don...' Gadget thought. She then fell unconscious.

Gadget awoke to find that she had been strapped to a medevial-type rack machine of some sort. She looked directly in front of her--and found Leviathan and Don standing there. Don looked worried, and Leviathan looked as he had before--black cloak, gloves, and no emotion on his face.

"Well, well, you're awake. It's about time. You didn't throw us off schedule that much, but I'll have to go quicker now," Leviathan muttered to Gadget. He looked at his hand. Gadget looked at it and saw that it was empty. Then Leviathan flicked his arm, and a long black staff dropped out of the right sleeve of his cloak. "Now we begin the next test." He pressed a button on the end of the staff, and the other end started to spark. Leviathan then held the staff towards Gadget.

"I can't watch..." Don simply covered his eyes. He could still hear Gadget's screams of pain as she was shocked with electricity over and over by Leviathan. 'Why did Leviathan decide to do this?' Don thought to himself. After about two minutes, Gadget's cries for help and screams of pain stopped. Don uncovered his eyes to find Leviathan leaving the room, staff in tow.

"Hmph...Most of the mice I've used this on last at least three and a half minutes--four tops. Don, the quickness of this test has given us at least fifteen extra minutes to our schedule. In an hour and a quarter, we resume testing. Return her to her cell." Leviathan exited the room. Don looked over at Gadget. She was very weak, and her coveralls were singed and ripped in various places all over her body. Quietly, Don unhooked Gadget from the "rack," carried her to her cell, laid her limp body down, then left her alone.

'This is insane...I've got to stop Leviathan before he kills her!' Don thought. 'Why is he doing this, anyway?' He quickly moved the "rack" into another room, then exited the testing area the same way Leviathan had.

When Gadget awoke, she was again attached to the "rack." She did not see Don anywhere, nor did she see Leviathan. She wondered where her captors were, then saw Leviathan and Don enter the room simultaneously.

"Good, she's ready. Don, leave the room." Leviathan had never had Don leave during a test before, and Gadget wondered what was happening. Don left the room, and Leviathan turned to Gadget.

"Wha...what are you gonna do to me now?" Gadget asked, very nervous and frightened.

"I'm simply going to finish the tests now. Are you ready?" Gadget simply nodded and waited. Leviathan walked to the back of the machine, then turned a wheel. Gadget felt a slight stretching in her arms and legs. "The good old fashioned rack."

"Ohno." Gadget realized what he meant, and every time he turned the wheel, her limbs stretched out further and further. After ten turns, she screamed in pain. Leviathan turned the wheel five more times, each time prompting a scream of pain and terror higher in pitch than the previous one from the inventor. After the fifth turn, he turned the wheel back the other way, thus returning Gadget's limbs to their normal position. 'Thank goodness it's over,' Gadget thought. Unfortunately, when she opened her eyes and looked up, she saw Leviathan standing there, motionless. 'What now?'

"I've noticed something about you, Gadget," he started. "You are a very beautiful woman." Gadget would have been flattered--if Leviathan had not drawn closer to Gadget, then gave her a very passionate kiss. She tried to stop him, but couldn't. Then he moved away. "I'll let you rest, then in an hour, I'll let you go." Leviathan left the room as Gadget passed out from pain and the exhaustion of trying to resist it.

[ModernTimes]

Now, my dear, we can begin the first of my experiments," Leviathan spoke.

Who names their character Leviathan? Why would you do that? Why am I not surprised?

"I feel so priveleged..." Gadget began to remark sarcastically.

"At least you'll live--be thankful for that," Leviathan retorted quickly.

He’s contractually obligated to torture and rape her for the next 100 pages before her execution, the coup de grace.

The second Gadget heard that, her spirit sank deeper than ever before.

Sorry kid, but you knew the risk when you agreed to be the lone female lead character. Half of this is your fault.

She knew something was going to happen to her, and it was going to hurt.

Just so you know, I’m not sorry. And this is 100% your fault.

"Are you ready?" All the captive could do was nod her head. A moment after she did, she heard something behind her.

Chip, Dale, Monty and the rest have come to rescue her!

"What the..." Gadget turned around. She was met with a slap to the face that sent her flying clear across the room.

Or not. My mistake.

The female mouse looked up to see three metallic mice heading straight for her.

Now you’re really going to get it. But hey, look on the bright side: only 99¾ more pages of this to go!

"Robots after my own design. I had some...help...building them, but they're all mine now," Leviathan stated.

You don’t **** with Leviathan’s robots. THEY’RE ALL HIS DAMMIT!

Gadget wasn't paying attention to him. She was too busy absorbing the blows of the robots. After taking about fifteen of them, Don moved toward Leviathan.

"Leviathan, you've got to stop them! They'll kill her!" He reached for the control panel. A roundhouse kick from the grey mouse convinced him otherwise.

Followed by 7 spin kicks and a DDT.

"As you wish, Don," Leviathan sighed. He pulled a lever on the control panel, and almost immediately, the robots shut down. Gadget--who had been held by one robot and punched by the other two--slumped to the floor, beaten and weak.

The best, most evil villains always know precisely how to beat their prisoners to the point of near-death. Perhaps they all purchase a detector that beeps when someone’s life begins to flash before their eyes.

"Take her to her cell. We begin the next experiment in one hour."

And they know just how much rest is needed before the torturing can resume.

Leviathan then walked out of the room. Don ran down to Gadget, lifted her up, and examined her. She was barely conscious, bruised all over, and her nose was bleeding. Gently Don put Gadget's arm over his shoulder and carried her back to her cell.

Don is such a sympathetic character.

"Forgive me, Miss Gadget," Don pleaded as he laid Gadget down in her cell. He cleaned her face of the blood, then stopped her nose from bleeding any more. "Please forgive me..." Don turned to leave, looked over his shoulder, then left, closing and locking the door behind him.

'I...forgive you...Don...' Gadget thought. She then fell unconscious.

What we have here is an extreme case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Spoiler:

What we really have here is bad writing 101.

I don't plan to post additional candidates to mock because I didn't use all of CD's material.