In December 2015 I was in therapy, struggling to keep my mind together. Things were bad. I could barely sleep, and I felt like I was close to a breakdown because I realized I was gay and could not handle that. My therapist saw my drawings and suggested that I draw myself as a superhero. Even though I got physically ill when I drew at the time, I agreed to do it when I could.
Over the next 14 months, I did just that. Some days were good. Others were filled with gut wrenching anxiety and tears. Some days I made good progress, and for months on end I didn't even want to look at my work because I hated myself. Bit by bit, I overcame obstacles and the drawing kept taking shape.
Today, it's finally done. Wow.
This drawing of my fursona Tyrell represents a number of firsts for me.
- First time using myself as a reference photo (thanks to my sister for her photography skills!)
- The camouflage coat. Having to draw my own camo pattern by hand.
- First time shading. Not easy, especially the camouflage coat. Did I mention the coat?
- First background
- Extensive color grading
I strongly identify with wolves, so much so that I consider myself a furry. The wolf is my spirit guide. I have always loved them even as a child, even though I did not know why. They are intelligent creatures; deeply emotional. They are loners but simultaneously part of a pack which is greater than any individual member. They are strong. They persevere. Just like me. So it is only fitting that my superhero identity is in the form of a wolf.
One of my favorite Journey songs called "Anything is Possible" has a line that reads "better to reach for something than to never have tried." Today is proof of the wisdom of that statement. I reached and reached until I got what I wanted, and it can never be taken away from me now.
You can knock me down, break my bones, shatter my mind, and leave me for dead, but I will always get up and fight back. My spirit cannot be destroyed. It is finally being unleashed with a mighty howl of triumph.
That is why I have named my work Defiance.
Last edited by singhcr; 02-11-2017 at 08:28 PM.
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